If you ain't no punk HOLLA WE WANT prePRENUPT...???

No that's not a typo, I'm talking about the pre-prenuptial, aka the dating prenupt, an agreement that outlines the what-ifs in the event that a couple's relationship disintegrates. I can understand having an agreement like this if you're cohabitating that outlines who will retain the apartment lease and how it's contents will be divided, but there are couples who don't live together who are making these agreements!

Legally this is an interesting concept, especially considering many couples, for financial or other reasons, decide to live together before getting married or completely forgo marriage all together. The prenuptial agreement is a contract that a couple enters into before marriage or a civil union that provides the terms of the legal dissolution of the relationship - custody, division of property, division of financial assets, financial consequences for infidelity. Postnuptial agreements are the same as prenupts in content only they are made after a couple is already married or has entered into a civil union. Neither of these agreements can include sexual provisions. Those type of agreements are called prostitution and prostitution is illegal.

So are pre-prenupts ridiculous?
IF you're not living together or about to move in together, you're probably jumping the gun, and I wish you a happy and painless break-up because you're on the fast track to splitsville.
On the other hand, IF you are living together or about to move in together I'm all for hashing out the what-if's and making sure that you're both on the same page and maybe even documenting the most important details. That being said...

A pre-prenupt should not include:

• Who will keep future pets you might acquire and how you'll share the cost
• What if you end up being allergic to the pet and now you have to pay for half the food and litter and vet bills for an animal that you never see that lives with your ex and possibly your ex's new fling? Not ideal so leave it out of the contract, because that's what a pre-prenupt is, a legal binding contract!
• Who will do what chores around your home
• Unless one person doesn't work or pay rent and they are supposed to clean or fix certain things in lieu of a monthly check
• Sexual requirements
• This is a pre-prenupt not a prostitution agreement
• Girls and Guys Night Out Rules
• If you need to make a written agreement concerning these nights out and the details you are probably in an unhealthy controlling relationship
• Respecting feelings and other mushy stuff
• There is no legal remedy for hurt feelings or not feeling like you're being listened to or that your emotional needs are being met

A romantic relationship should always be one of compromise that evolves over time as the relationship matures and thus only those things that are not subject to changes over time and won't evolve with the relationship should be included in a pre-prenupt:

• Who will retain the lease/apartment and what happens to each person's share of the deposit (and last month's rent if it was paid upfront)
• How furniture and the content of the apartment will be divided
• Especially those big ticket items you split the cost of when you furnished the place
• Whether infidelity changes any of these provisions
• I'd put an exception clause that if the relationship dissolves due to the other party's infidelity then the non-offending party gets to keep all the furniture, including the big ticket items that you split the cost of. Do you really want to sleep in the bed that you shared with the person who cheated on you? Probably not, but do you want to sell it and use that money to spend the night out with your friends or buying that new whatever you've been coveting? Yes!!! Or maybe you're going to need a deposit for a new place.

So all in all I think that the pre-prenupt is a little bit ridiculous and is a huge red flag in certain circumstances, but all in all I think that it's a good way to protect yourself in a world where you're very likely to live with a partner before you're legally bound to that person only when used reasonably and appropriately.

Further reading: NY POST article